How to Deal With a Spouse That Pushes Your Buttons

Don't engage a spouse that pushes your buttons.

Dealing with a difficult spouse can be a challenge, particularly if you don't want to end the relationship. A spouse lives with you day in and day out, and therefore knows how to push your buttons better than just about anyone else. There are ways to deal with this behavior without separating for good or taping over his mouth with duct tape.

Instructions

1. Tell your spouse that what she is doing is pushing your buttons and making you angry. Sometimes, you may think that your spouse knows she is aggravating you and doing it on purpose at that, but it is just that: an assumption. She may not realize it at all. Communication is key when you are living with another person, so you never want to assume that she knows when she is angering you, when the truth is she may not have the first clue.

2. Don't engage him when he tries to start an argument. Because he knows you so well, your spouse knows exactly what to say to you irate and ready to fight. Don't allow him the satisfaction. When he says or does something to push your buttons, breathe in deeply and walk away. Refuse to engage in a debate about it and find something else to do --- talk a walk or read a book --- until you feel calm internally.

3. Ask your spouse if and why he pushes your buttons deliberately. It could be a ploy for attention or some issue he still has from a previous argument that is unresolved in his mind. He may not feel as though he can talk to you about it, which is why he tries to push your buttons to argue instead. You may be able to resolve those issues, so he can move past the issue and stop trying to make you angry.

4. Remove yourself from the situation physically. Once your spouse starts doing something that she --- and you --- know is going to make you angry, walk away. Literally, walk way if you have to leave the house and simply go around the block, do it. Space and a few minutes apart --- at least --- will give you time to cool down a bit and resolve the situation peacefully.

References

• Help In Marriage: How To Deal With Difficult Spouses