How to Discipline a Nine Year Old Boy

Nine-year-old boys are eager to please.

While eager to please, nine-year-old boys are still in need of discipline. They are beginning to value friends over family, and when they misbehave, it is because they feel the rules are unfair. A child at this age needs to understand why rules exist and why the rules apply to him. Additionally, he needs to feel that consequences are distributed fairly. When a nine-year-old boy is disciplined, he needs to feel the level of consequence is equivalent to the level of action.

Things You'll Need

• Clear rules
• Fair consequences

Instructions

1. Create a list of clear rules in partnership with the boy. Discuss each rule and consider whether it is fair to each party: the boy and the guardian in charge of discipline. If a rule seems unfair to the nine-year-old, discuss why that rule seems unfair and either explain why it is important to change the rule to benefit both parties.

2. Highlight consequences for infractions and review consequences with him. Completing this step before discipline is necessary to reduce conflict when discipline happens. For example, if the boy is at his friend's house and he needs to be home by 8 p.m., a fair consequence for coming home late may be for the boy to stay at home without visitors the following day. .

3. Stick to each consequence as highlighted. The nine-year-old will have less chance to call consequences unfair if they are decided upon before they are needed and adhered to by the disciplinarian. Since nine-year-old boys are concerned with fairness, a boy who argues that the consequence is not fair can be reminded that this is the agreed upon consequence.

4. Post the rules and the consequences in plain sight. Use this posting whenever a rule is called unfair or a punishment is refused. The nine-year-old is concerned with what is right and following the rules, so posting the rules will give the disciplinarian a visual guide.

References

• Department of Health and Human Services: Middle Childhood