How to Stop Your Kid From Complaining

Listening helps parents to determine the root of the complaint.

Parenting may be one of the most rewarding tasks of a lifetime, but it also has its challenges. Kids who continually whine and complain can try a parent's patience and make it difficult for others to enjoy the child's company. Some kids complain as a way to get extra attention, and others because they have a genuine problem but have not developed the skills to discuss it in a more productive way. In many cases, stopping your kids from complaining starts with making the effort to figure out the cause of their complaints.

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Instructions

- 1
  
  Encourage positive communication. Sometimes kids do not know how to express themselves appropriately other than complaining. Don Fontenelle, Ph.D., author of "Keys to Parenting Your Teenager" states that kids should be allowed to "complain, disagree, or disapprove, provided they are not sarcastic, flippant, or nasty."
- 2
  
  Listen carefully to find out what your kid is really complaining about. If he complains about his curfew, for example, it might mean that he wants to spend more time with his friends who have later curfews. A child who complains about meals may not care for a specific vegetable. Listening helps parents to determine the root of the complaint and suggest a compromise.
- 3
  
  Watch for other signs of stress. A child's complaining may be caused by involvement in a stressful situation, such as school bullying or lack of preparation for an important school exam. If the child's complaints are combined with a marked change in behavior, there may be underlying stressors. Once the stress is removed or alleviated, the child may have less cause for complaint.
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  Establish clear rules and consequences regarding complaining. Explain clearly what is expected of the child. If the situation is non-negotiable, the child should clearly understand that he is expected to comply without complaint.
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  Discourage complaining by ending the conversation if the child becomes rude or disrespectful or by enforcing a punishment for breaking the rule.
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  Consider having the child physically examined by a doctor. Some kids may complain of stomachaches or headaches as a way of avoiding school, but if the complaints are frequent or specific to a particular situation, have the child examined to determine if there is a physical cause.