How to Attract Women As a Quiet Guy


If you're on the quiet side or shy, you may have trouble attracting and meeting women. You'll need to find the balance between coming out of your shell and staying true to yourself. You don't have to completely change who you are in order to attract women, but you do need to be a bit more outgoing and forward to make any progress on the dating scene. Remember, the competition out there is palpable and you'll need to set yourself apart from the rest to catch the eye of that special someone.

  • Avoid places that are overly intimidating. For example, heading into a crowded bar on a Saturday night and walking up to the hottest girl in the place, when she's in the middle of her pack of friends, may be too far over your head and out of your comfort zone. You can, however, head to places where there will be singles where you'll also feel a little more comfortable. Peruse your local book store, spend the afternoon at a modern art museum or head to a nearby Internet coffee shop. Start small and work up to more nerve-wracking situations.

  • Remain confident. Just because you may be shy and quiet, you still have plenty of things to offer that special girl. Think highly about yourself and others will too. Keep your appearance up and maintain your hobbies so that you'll be interesting and appealing to the opposite sex. While you may not chat too much, make what you do say interesting.

  • Plan a fun date that will bring you out of your shell or provide enough distraction so all of the entertainment doesn't fall on your shoulders. There are plenty of things that you two can do together that will provoke conversation, or even that you can participate in without talking too much. Drive-in movies, comedy clubs, professional sports games and concerts are great ideas where you won't have to talk too much.

Tips & Warnings

  • Avoid going to dinner for the first few times you take a girl out, until you're comfortable enough with her either to talk more or to stay a little on the quiet side. People are expected to talk over dinner out and it will seem awkward if you're quiet the whole time. To warm up and practice making conversation, start off with meeting for coffee or a drink after work.


  • Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Comstock/Getty Images
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