How to Take Charge in a Relationship


Relationships involve a constant fluctuation of dominance and submission between partners. Compromise is an essential part of healthy relationships but can often make you feel like you give in, especially if you are compromising so much that you are always the one with the short-end of the stick.

  • Avoid whining. Constant complaints to your partner about what you are not getting perpetuates your submissive stance. Forget the whining. No respecting partner wants to hear you gripe ad nauseam.

  • Speak clearly and be direct. Dominance demands well-articulated goals. If you are trying to communicate a concern to your partner speak from your perspective instead of initiating blame. Start with "I" statements spoken in an authoritative tone. Use straight posture when you address the issue and use your serious tone not a weak whisper.

  • Set boundaries. If your partner is engaging in behavior that violates your boundaries, then let her know. A person cannot correct a wrong if he is not aware of what is being done wrong. Let your partner know what you will and won't tolerate. manner.

  • Allow compromise but not complete passivity. Compromise means you don't exactly get what you want nor does your partner but the middle ground gives you both an outcome you can live with. Passiveness is when you never get what you want and aggressiveness is when your partner never gets what he wants.

Tips & Warnings

  • An open flow of communication is key for feeling a sense of power in the relationship. It is acceptable for both parties to have equal power.
  • Never use physical force as a means for taking charge. This is abusive and unlawful in most states.


  • Photo Credit Comstock Images/Comstock/Getty Images
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