How to Get to Know My Parent's Personal History

Learn about your parent's past.

One way to learn about the personal history of one or both of your parents is by conducting an oral history interview. This method is often employed by historians and genealogy enthusiasts to gather information about the past from people who experienced it firsthand. Beyond the historical interest aspect, this type of interview is also a valuable way to learn about your parent as a person and find out how he or she became the person that you know today.

Instructions

1. Tell your parent that you're interested in talking with him about his history and ask if it would be okay to do so sometime. If he seems reluctant, let him know that it won't be a rigid interview but just a casual conversation because you'd like to get to know him better.

2. Prepare a list of things you'd like to know about your parent's past. Write down any topics that interest you, such as your parent's favorite childhood games and music, her first job, memories of her parents or siblings, or the most exciting thing she's ever done. The list can be as long or short as you'd like, depending on how much time you will have to talk. If you're worried that you may not remember some important things that your parent says, bring along a tape recorder and record the conversation with your parent's permission.

3. Consider doing an activity with your parent while talking about the past. Some people tend to find it much easier to talk while doing something else, so going for a walk, putting together a puzzle, playing cards or knitting together while having your talk may result in a more rewarding discussion.

4. Ask open-ended questions requiring more than just a "yes" or "no" answer and allow the conversation to flow naturally. You may end up learning some things you never even realized you wanted to know when you allow the talk to deviate from your set list of topics. If you think of new questions while your parent is talking, do not interrupt; write them down or try to remember them so that you can ask during a pause in conversation.

5. Transcribe any tape recordings or elaborate on any notes you've taken after the discussion is over. It's best to do this as soon as possible while the talk is still fresh in your mind, particularly if you've only taken notes. The longer you wait, the more likely you will be to forget what some of the notes meant.

Tips & Warnings

• At the end of the conversation, be sure to let your parent know how much you truly appreciate being allowed to hear about his past.

References

• "Family Tree Magazine"; 13 Tips for Oral History Interviewing; Diane Haddad; September 2009
• Ancestry.com; Tips for Oral History Interviewing; February 2000