How to Know If Your Boyfriend Is Using You As a Stepping Stone

Catch your freeloading boyfriend in the act before you involve your feelings.

You're giving more love and resources than you're getting in return. He's really only interested in spending time with you when there's a physical or monetary benefit to him. You're questioning whether or not he even knows your last name. If you think your guy may be using you, you've got to put him in check immediately. Before jumping to conclusions and dismissing him entirely, ask yourself a few questions, then determine if he's a user and abuser.

Instructions

Identify some common ways he could be using you as a stepping stone.

1. He asks for more loans than a mortgage broker. Track how many times your guy has his hand out asking for money. Consider that if the two of you haven't created some type of reciprocal system where you share money here and there and you notice you're the only person doing the dishing, he may be using you for your funds. Pay attention to his attitude when you reject his financial requests.

2. He's riding your coattails. Notice if all your important meetings or cool parties that you're invited to involve him tagging and putting his two cents worth in to promote himself. See if he's more excited by being linked io all the amazing things you have going on than by pure happiness of spending quality time with you.

3. He's involved with you because you're the boss of the operation you both work for. If you're a person of power in an organization and he's not, consider his reasoning for attaching to you. If you have good reason to think he's interested in you primarily for career advantages, mention your concerns to him and note his reaction.

Confront Him.

1. Ask him. See if he fesses up to not really caring about you or fostering a solid relationship between the two of you and if he'd rather just keep you around for the perks. Be direct in your approach and ask direct questions like, "Is the only reason you spend time with me that I can advance your career?" or "How do you feel about me?" Allow your questions to be the start of a conversation about his intentions. Let him know that you would prefer for him to be honest, than to just say what you want to hear.

2. Change your schedule. Try a little trick on him by taking away some of the luxuries he's used to, like VIP invitations, money or sex. Monitor his behavior to see if you detect changes. Try to remove his "luxuries" for a week or two before putting them back into place. Then track his attitude once you've replaced the benefits. Add up all of the conclusions you reach about his attitude in those circumstances..

3. Quiz him. When you're still not sure that he's truly into you, ask him some questions that he surely should know about you. Find out if he's been paying attention to you and your feelings or if he seems to think he doesn't need to know much about you. If all the pieces to your puzzle clearly show that he's using you, ditch him. You deserve someone who can be dedicated to you.

References

• The Art of Being Feminine: How To Tell If He's Using You
• Beyond Fare: 10 Signs You SHould Dump Your Boyfriend