How to Motivate a Husband to Share Housework

Motivate an apathetic husband to do housework.

Marriage is ideally a partnership whose members equitably share responsibilities for finances, childcare and household chores. However, sometimes a spouse will drop the ball and force his partner to do more than her share. In these times, you may feel like yelling at or berating your husband. Instead, speak with him calmly about sharing housework and create a plan of action that will motivate him to do chores.

Things You'll Need

• Paper
• Pen

Instructions

1. Talk with your husband. Discuss the importance of his helping around the house. Discuss how his help will reduce your stress level and allow you more much-needed time to yourself. Additionally, tell your spouse how you feel when he forgoes his household responsibilities. Point out that the two of you have agreed to share chores and that he is not holding up his end of the bargain.

2. Write a list of chores that the two of you will complete. Write the list together, allowing him to choose what chores he wants to take on. This will increase his investment in the problem and put his commitment to specific chores on paper.

3. Negotiate with him. Tell your husband that you will give him uninterrupted time watching his favorite television show if he promises to help keep the house clean, for example. However, avoid creating a culture of rewarding him for things he should be doing anyway.

4. Take greater steps. Refuse to clean up after your husband or do his laundry if he refuses to complete his chores as planned. This is not to punish him, but to demonstrate that you are not his maid or mother. Once he asks why you have not cleaned, tell him your reasons in a calm manner.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not talk down to or denigrate your husband. This may escalate the conflict and make it worse.

References

• Grace Brooke: Tips for Motivating Your Spouse to Spring Clean

Resources

• Families: How To Get Your Husband to Clean Up