How to Offer Words of Encouragement for Condolences
Many people find it challenging to know what to say when someone they know or care about has suffered a loss. Offering words of encouragement or condolence doesn't come easy to everyone. Often people may feel as though they don't want to say the wrong thing, resulting in their saying nothing at all. However, the key to offering words of encouragement in this situation is to speak from the heart.
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Instructions
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Be genuine. Don't try to say what you think the person may want to hear or repeat what you've heard everyone else say. Think about how you feel for the person that has suffered the loss and then approach him or her and say what is in your heart. It may be something as simple as "I'm so sorry and I am here for you." or "You are going through a rough time right now, but I admire your strength."
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Refrain from bringing up your own experiences with the issue of loss. Remember, the idea is to encourage the other person, not dwell on what happened to you. Don't talk about the friend or family member you lost and how you dealt with that loss.
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Offer your assistance in helping the person get through this tough time. While encouraging them to be strong, offer to be the one they can lean on. This might be as simple as listening to the person verbally express his or her grief. You can also offer to help with making needed arrangements or dealing with other friends or family members. You might say something like "I know you can get through this, but you don't have to do it alone. I am here to help, just tell me what you need me to do."
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Don't guilt the person into going on or dealing with the loss. Words like "Johnny would want you to move on." don't help; they only make the person feel guilty if they aren't emotionally strong enough. Instead, try something like "I know you must be devastated and you don't have to do or say anything you don't feel up to doing. Take your time and move at your own pace."
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