How to Repair a Father-Daughter Relationship As an Adult

You can repair a strained relationship with your father.

If you spent your childhood hiding from your parents' arguments, batting away your father's harsh insults, feeling like you could never measure up or just never quite fitting in, you may have a strained relationship with your father, even as an adult. Many adult women feel tension and anxiety when they face their fathers. While you can repair even the most damaged relationship, the process takes time and the cooperation of both you and your father.

Instructions

1. Forgive your father for your childhood. Make a conscious effort to let the past be the past. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and while you may have felt unloved or betrayed, you need to forgive your dad before you can move forward.

2. Spend time with your father. As your father ages, he may naturally want to spend more time with you. Perhaps he regrets not spending enough time with you as a child or simply wants to get to know you better. Avoid pulling away from him at this time and instead enjoy the fact that he wants to build a relationship. Plan some fun activities you can enjoy together, such as miniature golfing, visiting a historic site, going fishing or simply sharing dinner together.

3. Seek counseling. If your emotional scars are deep, you may need the guidance of a professional counselor to help you face your childhood memories. Talk to a counselor, therapist or pastor by yourself or, if he wants to be involved, take your dad with you. Avoid pointing fingers during a counseling session and instead focus on yourself and how certain experiences made you feel.

4. Talk with your father about your experiences growing up and listen to his perspective of the events that transpired. Perhaps your father doesn't feel he was too harsh with you as a child and instead feels that he was doing what was best for you. Be honest with your father, but also listen to him and realize that you may have different feelings about your childhood.

References

• Psych Central: Parents and Their Adult Children Can Still Aggravate One Another
• First Things First: Father Daughter Relationships
• Ask the Internet Therapist; Father and Daughter Relationships; Dr. Beverly Block