How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship With a Child Involved

Keep your child safe and remove yourself from an abusive relationship.

Abusive relationships are dangerous, unhealthy, stressful and should be ended immediately. When relationship problems become physical, it is important to remove yourself and your child from the situation to keep safe and avoid exposing your child to negativity. Do not stay in an abusive relationship because you have become dependent on the abuser; create a financial plan and a departure plan and implement them as soon as possible.

Instructions

1. Make the decision to leave. Gaining the courage to get up and leave is the first and hardest step toward getting out of an an abusive relationship. Ask for advice and feedback from peers about the abuse so that they can reassure you of your decision to leave. Peer support is the key to success and empowerment in abusive situations.

2. Get your finances together. Make a financial plan for yourself so that you are able to survive on your own and become financially independent. If you are not currently employed, update your resume and start applying for jobs. Set up a budget for yourself; calculate your monthly expenses, and figure out how much you need to make in order to fulfill them. If you run into problems, seek financial assistance from friends or family, or apply for state aid.

3. Plan your departure. Now is the time to figure out what you will do for housing for you and your child. If your departure needs to be immediate, ask a friend or family member if you can live with her temporarily. But if you have the time, use the Internet or newspapers to search for an apartment or housing unit that is affordable and comfortable for you to make the transition.

4. File for divorce if you are married. Find a good lawyer, and ask for a free consultation. Give the lawyer an in-depth understanding of your situation; at that time, he will assess the relationship and give you advice, followed by steps to move forward with ending the relationship.

References

• Psychcentral.com; How do I get out of abusive relationship?; Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
• KidsHealth.org: Healthy Relationships Involve Respect and Trust