How to Communicate With People Who Are Bossy


Communicating with someone who is bossy can be very difficult. Bossy people are often intimidating and may lack people skills. This can complicate having a discussion or conversation. You may struggle to get your point across or to convince the person that your view is correct. Bossy people are often egotistical and obsessed with their job. Communicating with them becomes much easier when you understand these traits and know how to handle them.

  • Practice being assertive and using an assertive voice. You may have a hard time talking to bossy person if you are easily influenced, so it’s essential to come across as a confident and firm.

  • Be respectful and kind. Treat everyone with the same respect and kindness you want to be treated with. Avoid the temptation to respond aggressively to a bossy person. He is more likely to respect and respond to a kind, confident person than an angry, aggressive person.

  • Consider the bossy person’s opinion. While he may not communicate it well, he might have a good idea, so don't dismiss it out of hand. If you decide to go another way, make it clear that you considered his opinion and that you appreciate his help.

  • Take five minutes to relax and refocus if you find the bossy person’s behavior is making you feel angry or hurt. Excuse yourself and go somewhere quiet and calming to do some breathing exercises and clear your head. This will prevent you from doing anything rash.

  • Use written communication methods such as e-mail. This will give you chance to write out what you want to say and check it over before you send it. It also will give you time to consult other people, if necessary, and to cool off before replying if the person does not send the reply you anticipated.

  • Talk to Human Resources if the bossy person is affecting your work. If you start to feel bullied, keep a diary and record your interactions with the person. If you feel his behavior goes beyond just having a bossy personality, meet with a member of Human Resources to discuss the problem and possible solutions.

Tips & Warnings

  • Speaking to an occupational therapist about relaxation methods, or taking up a hobby such as yoga or Pilates, may help you relax. Deep-breathing exercises and visualization methods are often useful for quick calming.

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