How to Teach Children Healthy Expressions of Feeling
One of the most important things you can do, as a parent, is to teach your child to express her feelings in a healthy and appropriate way. A child who cannot express her feelings or does so in a way that is destructive will have problems, not only in childhood, but throughout life. However, many parents do teach their children this skill, often without realizing it. It often comes naturally as part of a close parent-child relationship. Children vary, and some children will have an innate shyness or reserve that makes it more difficult for them to to express themselves. There are steps that all parents, and others who care for children, can take to guide them in this important area.
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Instructions
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Respond to a child right from babyhood. Look at his face and interpret his moods, for instance, cuddling him when he looks sad. Smile at him; this is one of the most powerful forms of non-verbal communication. Show expression by modeling. Verbalize your own feelings so that the child becomes used to this. Give the toddler choices in small things, perhaps in a choice of jacket to wear. This encourages independence.
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Differentiate between the child's feelings and her behavior. If she, for instance, hits another child because she is angry, tell her that you understand she is angry, but that her reaction was wrong. Put labels on your own feelings and hers, telling her, for instance, that she looks happy, and asking her why. Read books together, and discuss the character's feelings. Even with a young child, you can change your voice and look concerned when a character in the story is sad.
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Teach her empathy, by example. If the child sees you looking out for an elderly neighbor, or showing concern for people who are ill or distressed, this will act as a powerful example. Praise her own efforts at kindness. Stand back and let her attempt to resolve small conflicts with her playmates but offer advice and help if she needs it.
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References
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