How to Get Your Husband to Be Affectionate
Constant hugs and kisses and the whispering of sweet nothings into each other's ears top the lists of things that many wives desire. These simple yet romantic gestures show a spouse that her partner feels affection and love for her, even as their marriage progresses. If your husband fails to provide you with these indications you may be left feeling unsure about his emotions. While getting him to be affectionate is not likely something you can accomplish overnight, with continued effort you may be able to entice him to give you a bit more of the affection for which you are so very hungry.
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Instructions
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Set reasonable expectations. Instead of expecting your husband to suddenly transform from a completely unromantic guy to someone straight out of a romance novel, make your expectations reasonable. If you don't, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment.
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Express your feelings to your husband. If you don't feel that your husband is providing you with the affection you need, tell him. If you don't ever voice this concern, you aren't giving him a chance to change. When you do express your feelings, avoid doing so in a confrontational manner. Make sure that the conversation isn't all about what he is doing "wrong." To keep the conversation from heading in this direction, make "I" statements in which you tell your husband what you need, starting each with the pronoun I. By doing so you can prevent putting the onus on him.
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Set a good example. Instead of using only words to tell your husband what you want from him, show him. Be affectionate toward him, telling him that you love him, giving him kisses and tender touches, and wrap your arms around him regularly. As you do this you not only express your esteem for him, but also show him what you need in return. If you do this regularly and he doesn't seem to get the hint, add some vocal cues, telling him as you hug him how much you love him and how much you love giving -- and receiving -- hugs.
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Praise him for things he does right. If you always feel like your husband's affection is lacking, you may make this fact known often. Instead of always harping on him and telling him what he is doing wrong, try to focus on what he is doing right. While it may feel a bit silly at first, thanking him for that little peck on the cheek and telling him how much it means to you could make a big difference as it shows him that you really appreciate the effort he is putting into being affectionate and may make him more inclined to give even more effort.
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Seek counseling if other attempts produce no results. Sometimes issues with affection -- or lack of it -- can be dealt with inside the marriage, but in other instances outside help is needed. It could be that there are problems preventing your husband from being affectionate toward you. If, despite your efforts, he fails to give you the affection you need, consider seeking couple's counseling. By talking with a trained professional about these issues you may be able to sort them out and mend your damaged relationship.
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References
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