How to Discipline Kids in a Positive Way

Children generally do not respond well to a yelling parent.

Many parents today are moving away from older discipline techniques like shaming, withdrawal of affection or corporal punishment. Though discipline is important, some prefer a more positive approach. All discipline should be tailored to fit the age, temperament and development level of the child. There are several steps parents can take to make discipline a respectful and relatively painless process.

Things You'll Need

• Poster board
• Marker

Instructions

1. Set your rules, and be consistent with enforcing them. Older children can participate in creating household rules. Write the rules down and put them somewhere visible in your home.

2. Model good behavior for your children by following the household rules. If you expect your children to refrain from yelling, temper your voice level and tone. Children often learn through observation.

3. Reinforce positive behavior whenever possible. Giving positive attention for good behavior will increase the likelihood that your child will repeat that behavior.

4. Create a star chart to track good behavior when you are working on something specific. Make a simple weekly grid and put a star sticker or simple check mark on each day your child displays the desired behavior. This visual reinforcement of good behavior works particularly well with young children.

5. Address problems calmly and respectfully. If your child breaks a rule, talk to her to find out why. Remind her why that rule exists. If she becomes upset, let her take a few minutes alone to calm down, and tell her you are ready to talk when she is.

6. Avoid confrontation by giving your child choices rather than directing his behavior. This allows your child to feel empowered while still accomplishing what you have asked of him.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are feeling angry, take a break before talking to your child about his misbehavior. This will ensure that you can remain calm and in control during the conversation.

References

• Attachment Parenting International: Practice Positive Discipline
• Old Dominion University: 101 Positive Discipline Techniques
• Child Welfare League of America: Discipline Techniques: Positive Discipline