How to Stop Bullying Others

Do something positive for yourself and stop bullying others.

Bullying is never something that is positive, for either the bully or the victim. Bullying has a profound effect on many victims and can leave residual, long-term hurt feelings. Although obvious bullying tends to be more common among children and adolescents, it still happens to adults in the form of manipulation. Manipulation is using emotional "games" to get what the bully wants from the victim. Recognizing that you have a problem with bullying is the first and most important factor in changing your behavior.

Instructions

1. Identify what triggers you to bully someone. Look back at situations in which you did bully someone and write down the events immediately preceding these encounters. Were you projecting your problems onto others? Were other parts of your life out of control when you engaged in these behaviors? What feelings did you experience when you acted as a bully? Analyze your answers and modify any behaviors that might act as a trigger for bullying. For example, address your other problems directly instead of taking them out on a victim. Avoid scenarios where you engaged in bullying behaviors in the past.

2. Remove yourself from friends or associates that partake in bullying. Make new friends with individuals who are empathetic and supportive. Look for friends with strong moral integrity and who are trustworthy. Talk openly with close friends and family to let out negative emotions and help prevent bullying impulses.

3. Prevent acting impulsively by slowing down your actions. Think clearly before you act and speak; taking an extra few minutes to think the situation over never hurt. If you are directly dealing with your impulse to bully, count to 10 silently. Ask yourself if what you're going to say is true. Also ask yourself if you need to say it. Another question worth asking is whether you would like it if what you we're about to say was said to you. You should also think about whether or not what you were planning to say will hurt the person it was intended for and whether they deserve being hurt. If you answer no to any of these questions, just walk away.

4. Take up new interests to build self-esteem and prevent bullying. Look for a hobby or interest that makes you feel good about yourself. Many times, bullying is due to low self esteem and a lack of control over your life. Some hobbies that are positive and build self-esteem include musical instruments, sports activities, exercise and academic pursuits.

5. Seek counseling and professional help if necessary. If you are a student, talk to school administrators for referrals to counselors. Talk to your doctor about getting a referral to a psychologist.

References

• KidScape: I'm a bully and would like some help
• ThinkQuest: Stop Bullying