How to Motivate My Lazy Sons


If your son shows very little interest in activities, is disorganized and lacks goals, you might have a lazy child on your hands. Lazy children might fall behind in school because of their irresponsibility in completing assignments, and they might miss out on many enjoyable activities or projects. Siblings might adopt similar attitudes, which can create an added stress on the parents. It is important not to label your child lazy or put him down but instead try different approaches to encourage him to be more active.

  • Take your child for a physical exam. It is important to rule out a health problem before trying to encourage him to be more active. Ask your doctor if growing could make your son tired or if any other complications are making his laziness worse. If he does have a condition, ask for ideas to help him be less lazy without worsening the condition and about any precautions you might need to take.

  • Make sure the basic needs of your son are met so that he is not hungry, thirsty or in need of rest. If his needs are not met, a child might be more prone to laziness. Give your son enough time to rest. Children who are growing might be more tired, and growth can contribute to laziness.

  • Find out the reason your child is being lazy. He might not want to participate in activities for fear of failure, or he might feel secluded from social groups. Talk to him about his feelings about school, friends and other family members. Pay attention to the times he is lazy and try to find similar characteristics. Does he want to participate in activities his friends are in? Does he not complete school work for fear of getting bad grades? Avoid misjudging your child or labeling him.

  • Ask your child about his interests. If he is being negative and uncooperative, use other ways to find his interests. Ask teachers what subjects your son participates in during class, watch your son to find out what he likes to do in his spare time, and ask friends and their parents what activities they enjoy.

  • Encourage your child to learn more about a subject he enjoys or to participate in an activity he likes. Do not pressure him, but rather praise his work and be positive. Let your child start slowly by just spending a few minutes on the activity until his interest grows and he is more active. Help him create short-term goals according to his interest and encourage him to complete them.

  • Give your child assignments and responsibilities. Create a chart and assign chores or tasks to every family member. Set a reward system with incentives your child enjoys, such as money, a family activity or a new toy. If you are able, buy your son a pet. Pets can teach your child how to be responsible. Explain to your son the responsibilities of taking care of a pet. Instruct your child to show you he can be responsible before you get the pet by completing all his chores on time for a few weeks.

  • Set up a daily routine. Assign a specific time to wake up, eat breakfast, do chores, finish homework and other tasks. Teach your child about time management. Give him a chart to write down all his responsibilities, chores and activities. Assign a time to start and finish each activity. Plan outdoor activities for your son to enjoy and write them on his daily chart. Make sure to include some time to rest so you do not overwhelm him.

  • Avoid ignoring your child's laziness. Always set limits and follow through. If you allow your son to be lazy one day, you cannot expect him to get up and do his chores the next day. Never give up on your child. He will eventually start to be more active.

Tips & Warnings

  • Extracurricular activities are a good way to encourage your child to be more active. Find out about activities the city or school offers.
  • Talk to your child privately often asking about his feelings and successes. Always make sure to point out his strengths.
  • Discuss the issue with your son's teachers, ask them how he acts in class and for ideas on how to help him be more active.
  • Never put your child down or make him feel like a failure. Instead, focus on the positive and try to reach out to him.


  • Photo Credit Comstock Images/Comstock/Getty Images
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