How to Settle a Divorce

A neutral mediator can help a couple reach agreement.

Divorce takes an emotional and financial toll on a couple. The emotional expense is the disappointment and regret associated with a broken relationship. The financial expense may include costs such as supporting two households instead of one and paying attorney fees. In a simple divorce, where the couple doesn't own real estate, a husband and wife can save time, money and heartache by working out their own divorce settlement.

Instructions

1. Gather your credit card statements, mortgage statement, pay stubs and other financial records that show assets or debts. Include medical bills, bills for pet care and other household bills.

2. Create a balance sheet of your assets and liabilities. Use spreadsheet software to make the task easier. To value a vehicle, look up the value in an online valuation estimator. To value used personal property, such as televisions or appliances, consider what a willing buyer would pay a willing seller for the asset.

3. Divide the assets and liabilities between the two of you. Keep liabilities with the assets they encumber; for example, if the wife takes the car, she should also take the car payments. Distribute cash accounts in a way that makes the distribution as even as possible.

4. Write the agreement in a document and include signature lines and notarial acknowledgements for each party. Sign the document in front of a notary public and attach it to the divorce decree or judgment of dissolution of marriage that the judge will sign to terminate your marriage.

Tips & Warnings

• Divorce law varies from state to state. The clerk of the family law court at your local courthouse is an excellent resource for parties who represent themselves in a divorce. The clerk cannot give you legal advice, but he can help you navigate the forms and deadlines necessary to settle your own divorce.

• Consult a divorce lawyer if you have assets that are difficult to value, such as a business, if you owned significant property before you got married or if you have been married for more than a few years.

• Consult a divorce lawyer if you have children. If you agree, as a bargaining tool, to let your spouse have joint custody of your children with you, it can be difficult to change the agreement and get sole custody after the divorce.

References

• California State Courts; Summary Dissolution Information; July 1, 2009