How to Approach a Cheating Husband
If you have the misfortune of discovering that the man who vowed to love you and only you hasn't made good on his promise, you may be at a loss as to what to do. Confronting a cheating spouse is hardly something that anyone wants to do, but you must. The way you deal with this situation can make a major difference. Instead of allowing your emotions to get the better of you and turning your confrontation into an argument, approach this situation in a more productive and civilized manner.
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Instructions
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Think about what you want. While you likely don't want to make a final decision as to whether your marriage is salvageable or not, it is wise to take some time to think about what you would prefer before you approach your spouse. You may wish to mend the marriage, or you may feel that the damage is irreparable. Regardless of how you feel, think through your emotions and decide what you think the best course of action is before you approach your spouse.
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Allow yourself time to deal with your feelings before you confront him. The day on which you discover that your spouse has been unfaithful is likely not the time to talk to him about it. As difficult as it may be, it is best to let several days go by so you can deal with your emotions and simmer down before you approach your spouse.
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Prepare what you want to say. Don't go into the discussion unprepared, as doing so will likely make it largely unfruitful. Instead, write down several drafts of what you want to say. In doing so, you can more effectively sort your thoughts and plan your approach.
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Don't ask questions for which you don't want the answers. You may be dying to know specifics of the affair, perhaps in hopes that knowing them will make the infidelity easier to deal with. In all likelihood, knowing these details will only make it hurt more.
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Share your feelings. Don't leave you husband guessing how his cheating has made you feel, even if you think your feelings should be obvious. Instead, state clearly, "I feel..." followed by the specific emotions that you are experiencing. In doing so, you can ensure that he knows the impact that his infidelity has had on you.
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Listen to him. Though nothing your husband can say will fully take away your hurt, it is important to allow him to speak about the infidelity instead of just bombarding him and talking at him. By allowing the conversation to be two-way, you can increase the chance that your relationship can be mended, as open communication is necessary for salvaging a relationship.
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