How to Write a Reference Letter About a Bossy Person

A recommendation both true and strong can make a job hunt easier.

Writing reference letters is an important business task; it may even have far-reaching implications for your own career. Sometimes this task can be difficult, especially when the person that you are vouching for has some challenging personality characteristics. The overall tone of a reference letter should be positive, but part of your own professional reputation means that you should be honest in your recommendations. Writing a reference letter for someone that has a bossy or domineering personality may be tricky, but can definitely be done with aplomb.

Things You'll Need

• Computer
• Paper
• Printer
• Thesaurus

Instructions

What to Include in the Letter

1. Divide your list into two categories: professional skills/issues and personal characteristics. Everything that directly affects the ability to do work (i.e., any objective information) goes into the professional side. How the person fits with others and deals with challenges is counted at personal aspects. Bossiness, like many characteristics, certainly affects someone's work life, but is subjective, so it belongs in the second list. Be sure you think about both positive and negative qualities.

2. Go through the list and see what the overriding issues or attributes may be. For example, tardiness and past due assignments indicate a lack of concern for others' time. Likewise, great public speaking and an ability to communicate both up and down the corporate ladder show superior communication skills. Railroading meetings and assuming leadership may automatically be indicators of a bossy individual.

3. Identify each major characteristic with a word or brief phrase. Bossy, communicator, self-centered, leader, diligent and thoughtful are examples you may use.

4. For all words and phrases you have identified that may be perceived negatively, decide whether or not you want it to be interpreted as such. If you know that bossiness is usually a negative but you still want to recommend that individual, you will want to put a positive slant on the bossiness.

5. For all terms that you want to put a positive slant on, find synonyms that tend to have a more positive connotation. Bossiness might be expressed as eagerness to lead, concern with others' work, headstrong, etc. You can decide how much of the negative aspect of the characteristic you want to indicate to the recipient of the letter.

Writing the Letter

1. Start with a basic outline for writing a recommendation (see Resource).

2. Write the rest of the letter completely, including the positive remarks you want to convey.

3. Interject a sentence or two to communicate the questionable characteristic. You may choose to use past tense: "I've had the pleasure of watching Sharon overcome obstacles. She has a natural inclination to lead, sometimes to the displeasure of others. Sharon has since learned better boundaries and continues to find ways of helping without stepping on others' toes."

   You likewise may choose to simply put it as a caveat: "While Sharon may occasionally dominate conversations or work tasks, her ideas and suggestions have helped her entire department to shine."

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that if a potential employer calls you for a reference, there are very specific rules and laws about what information you can share. Check with your Human Resources department for training.

• Don't ever agree to write a reference or recommendation letter for someone you don't really think is right for the job or is someone you have doubts about. Let them know gently that you simply don't think you know enough or aren't the right person for the job.

References

• Write Express: Recommendation Letters
• AMA: Dealing with Difficult People

Resources

• Letter of Recommendation Form