How to Hog the Limelight
If you have a desire or compulsion to hog the limelight in each life situation, rest assured it is not difficult to attain. Ramifications of hogging the limelight include, but are not limited to, reducing the size of your circle of friends, being branded a know-it-all and being ignored in invitations to future events. These details are minuscule when compared to the glow of the limelight and temporary self-perceived adulation of the crowd. Get out there are take the limelight as you so deserve.
Other People Are Reading
Instructions
-
-
1
Interrupt anyone at a dinner party. Make sure to keep a steady stream of free-association thought verbalized through words. Do not let anyone else get a word in. If someone asks to interject, reply with sentiments like "you wouldn't understand; I am an expert" and "silence please, a grown up is talking." This not only gives you the full limelight, it makes others tend not to want to talk, furthering the ability to fill the dead conversation with your well-placed comments.
-
2
Locate the "Caps Lock" button on your computer keyboard, and press it to turn on the capitals. Go to any Internet forum, chat room or posting area and reply to as many posts as possible using all caps. Nothing hogs the Internet chat limelight quite like all caps. Use caps even if you agree with the Internet sentiments posted by others. Do not be afraid to sound condescending and pepper the posts with nods to your own experience and self-professed expertise.
-
-
3
Stand up and interrupt the best man during wedding party speeches. When the best man taps the glass with a spoon for a speech, thank him, then stand up and launch into a prepared speech on a topic of your choice, perhaps about the bride and how she used to weigh much, much more during her old university days when she spent more time on her back, than in the classes.
-
4
Launch into soliloquies and asides on a routine basis during any community theater productions, even if you are not part of the cast.
-
5
Attend press conferences and stand up exclaiming "I'm the decider." Do this even if you are not the person who called the press conference.
-
6
Stand in front of the counter at fast food restaurants and ask "where's the beef?" to every person who comes in.
-
7
Say "am I a quart low?" after each time a doctor performs a tonsil exam.
-
8
Hire an entourage. When walking into a coffee shop, make the entourage go in first, unroll the red carpet, and turn on "Winning" by Santana. Walk to the counter, and order.
-
9
Wear a red velvet cape everywhere, even to football games. Nothing takes the limelight away from others like a cape.
-
1
References
- Photo Credit Jupiterimages/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images
