How to Spend Time With the Kids Together After Separating

Divorce can change the way parents and kids interact when together.

Divorce can be taxing on any family, as the kids and couple are forced to make -- and live with -- major changes. However, some couples are better able than others to make this process easier on their children by continuing to engage in family outings together. Despite their parents' separation, the kids are able to enjoy time in a family unit and relax about their place in the lives of both parents.

Instructions

1. Establish boundaries with your spouse ahead of time. Agree that you will not argue in front of the children or discuss any marital issues during this time. You may also need to establish guidelines on intimacy regarding issues like hugging, kissing or hand-holding, depending on the circumstances of your separation.

2. Focus the conversation on the kids. The more you can make it about them, the better the time together will be. Not only do you not have to worry about sticky marital issues cropping up, but the kids flourish under the attention they are receiving from both of you. This is important during what is surely a stressful time for them, as they adjust to the separation.

3. Choose a family-friendly environment in which you can all spend quality time together. For example, the movies isn't the best place because you aren't both interacting with the kids. A park, however, is a great place to spend time together because your spouse might help one child ride a bike while you help another on the swings. You are all in one place but doing different things.

4. Stick with a very consistent schedule so as not to confuse the kids. If every Saturday morning is when you all do something together, but then everyone goes back to their separate situations during the week, there is less confusion about the two of you getting back together. However, if you're spending time together at first on Saturday mornings, then on Monday and Wednesday evenings, they may begin to get their hopes up about the end of the separation.

References

• Help Guide: Tips For Divorced Parents