How to Break Up Children Fighting
Fighting is one way children attempt to resolve disputes. Fighting can actually be a learning experience for children, state Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg and Sandee Hathway, authors of "What To Expect: The Toddler Years." Fighting gives children the opportunity to work through issues and develop independent problem-solving skills. Some fights will need to broken up, however, especially if the physical nature of the fight is causing harm to 1 or both of the children. Break up the fight and use it as a chance to teach children a valuable life lesson.
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Instructions
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Walk over to the children and yell each of their names loudly. This might distract the children from the physical action of fighting and cause them to turn in the direction of your voice.
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Instruct each child to remove his hands from the other child in a stern, calm voice. Instruct each child to move away from the other child and stand by you or in a specific place that you designate.
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Stop the children from fighting by gently grabbing each child's upper arm or waist area and pulling them apart. Use this method if they children do not respond to your verbal request to stop fighting.
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Talk to each child separately about the cause of the fight. Fights between children generally start because of frustrations and misunderstandings. Understanding the cause of the fight can help you resolve the issue and prevent future incidents.
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Bring the children together to apologize and talk about why the fight started. Let each child express her feelings to the other. Help each child express and explain herself. You may need to do this step yourself for younger children or children who are non-verbal.
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Explain to each child why fighting is wrong and how it can hurt people both physically and emotionally. Tell each child to find an adult if a fight starts again or if someone is attempting to initiate a fight with him.
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Tips & Warnings
Talk to your child periodically about her feelings and help her develop appropriate ways to express herself. Many physical fights are the manifestation of a child being unable to verbally express her negative emotions, according to Murkoff, Eisenberg and Hathaway.
Seek medical attention for either child if he is injured or requests to see a nurse or doctor.
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