How to Evaluate Relationship Compatibility

Compatibility is key to a relationship.

Compatibility is a key component of any relationship because it describes how the people in it look at the world. If you are compatible with someone you will share many similar views, ideals and a general outlook on life. This is important because if you have different core ideals then it will hard to feel connected to your partner. So, if you are about to make a major decision or plans with your partner you should assess how compatible you are.

Instructions

1. Separate compatibility from attraction. You may be extremely physically attracted to someone and have a great sex life with him but this just one part of general relationship compatibility; don't fall into the trap of mistaking a hot sex life for general compatibility.

2. Assess your three to five key values. These should include things like what your religious beliefs are, what your key political beliefs are, whether you want children, what makes you happy in your life, and what makes you unhappy.

3. Assess key values in your partner. These are basically determined by how important they are to you. If neither of you cares for politics, but both of you love traveling, traveling should be your key value. If, on the other hand, only one of you loves traveling, then it should still be one of your key values. Don't ignore something simply because your partner isn't interested in it.

4. Compare these values with your partner. You really should share all of them. While little things such as how much milk to put in your oatmeal aren't that important, the big things are. For example, if one of you wants to get married at a specific age while the other doesn't want to get married soon or at all, this is a huge difference and ultimately creates incompatibility.

5. Be honest when you are assessing your compatibility. You may have to confront ugly truths, but they will ultimately leave you happier, even if they cost you a relationship. After all, it's better to be searching for a compatible person than settling for an incompatible person.

References

• The Relationship Gym: Relationship Compatibility