How to Stop Jealous Behavior in a Boyfriend

Jealousy can be one of the biggest killers of a healthy romantic relationship. Whether the jealousy stems from past significant others or excessive flirtation habits, it can lead to a lot of friction, tension and fighting. If you are dealing with a particularly jealous boyfriend and it is ruining your relationship, there are several things you can do to help the matter.


    • 1

      Listen to your boyfriend. If he is complaining or explaining to you exactly why he is jealous, actually sit and listen to him. Instead of being overcome by defensiveness or annoyance that he is saying these things, try to address his concerns and respond to his feelings, no matter how far-fetched or ludicrous you might feel they are. This could help to bridge the gap between the both of you that his jealousy has created.

    • 2

      Make some introductions. Often, when boyfriends are obsessively jealous, it is of the men that are close to their girlfriends, such as male friends and coworkers. To put his mind at ease, allow him to meet these people. If he establishes some kind of relationship with these men, it might help to lessen some of his feelings of insecurity.

    • 3

      Set some rules in the relationship. One way to prevent jealous situations is by establishing some relationship boundaries. These boundaries should go both ways. For example, if your boyfriend is uncomfortable about you going on a weekend camping trip with your closest male friends, it could help for both of you to put together some ground rules regarding that sort of situation and interaction.

    • 4

      Help his self-confidence. A lot of jealousy is rooted in deep feelings such as insecurity, fears of abandonment and a sense of personal inadequacy. To help your boyfriend battle these negative feelings and overcome his jealousy, try to build his self-esteem and reinforce his good qualities that made you fall in love with him in the first place. Give him more attention if necessary, as a lot of jealousy also stems from lack of attention from a partner.

    • 5

      Allow him to be more involved in your life. Your boyfriend's jealousy could stem from feeling isolated and left out of your life. If he feels left in the dark all of the time, it could lead him to have suspicions and doubts about your relationship. Occasionally allow your boyfriend to be part of your social life, which could help alleviate his concerns and worries.

    • 6

      Tell him how his behavior makes you feel. If your boyfriend exhibits extreme jealousy that interferes with your life, then something needs to change. For instance, if he is so jealous that you are unable to have freedom and socialize with friends, tell him that it bothers you that he doesn't trust you. Set some healthy boundaries so that both of you can have fulfilling lives that aren't suffocating or restrictive. Remind him that although you are a couple, some separate interests and time apart occasionally can be a good thing.

    • 7

      Seek help if you need it. If you suspect that your safety or well-being is in danger, you must get away from the situation. Some men take jealousy so far that they can get violent and controlling. If his jealousy results in him threatening you, calling you names or getting emotionally or physically abusive, you need to notify your friends and family, call the police and perhaps seek counseling. Consider speaking with a local domestic violence hotline for help. If you reside with your boyfriend and want to get away from him but have nowhere to go, contact your nearest women's shelter for help.

Tips & Warnings

  • Consider leaving the relationship. If your boyfriend's jealousy and insecurity is suffocating you, the option to move on is always there. No one should have to live with constant jealousy and tension hovering over them, especially when they are not doing anything to provoke the situation.
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