How to Stop Bullying & Speak Up

Bullying can cause real suffering for the victim. It must be resolved in a positive way.

Bullying seems to be a common experience for children and teenagers. Almost half of those surveyed report being victims of bullying in some form, according to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. Bullying can be verbal and physical. Bullying can also go high-tech on the Internet and on cellphones. It can be damaging and cause suffering to the victim. Here's an important proviso: It must be dealt with in a positive matter.

Instructions

Identifying Bullying

1. Bullying is a power play. It's when someone, usually a peer and a person you know, keeps doing and saying things that make you feel inferior to her. It can be physical intimidation such as pushing, hitting, pinching or tripping. It can be verbal when someone keeps calling you names, teases you or spreads false rumors about you. It can be sexual harassment such as making sexual comments, pulling bra straps or staring at parts of the body. Leaving people out of group activities is emotional bullying. Making racial slurs or criticizing the food you eat is racial bullying.

2. Dealing with bullies must be done in a positive manner. Bullies look for easy targets, so if you respond to initial threats in a confident, self-assured way, it could head off subsequent incidents. Remember: Act confident. Do not show fear or signs that you are intimidated. Most importantly, make and keep some good friends. Those who are bullied often appear to be loners.

3. There are several strategies a victim can use to resolve a bullying situation. 1. Avoid the bully and use the "buddy" system. If you have to pass by the bully, try to have someone with you. 2. Don't show anger. That's exactly what the bully wants -- to get a "rise" out of you. Don't look like you are about to cry; stay calm even if you are nervous or upset. 3. Act brave, simply say, "Stop it," and walk away. Remember, it is important to stay positive. 4. If you cannot get away, protect yourself until after the attack. 5. Talk to your parents, a teacher or a guidance counselor. Victims should not feel like they have to shoulder this type of abuse without help.

4. You can also remove incentives that encourage bullies. If the bully demands your lunch money every day, starting bringing a lunch. If the bully tries to get your portable music player, don't bring it with you for several days. It's important for victims to know that they are good people and that they are not alone. It is not a victim's fault that he is being bullied. Do not try to fight back and become a bully yourself.

5. Many anti-bullying websites stress the strategy that victims should be proud of themselves. Everyone has wonderful attributes. No one can take away someone's talents and personality. If all else fails in dealing with a bully, victims and their relatives should not hesitate to contact local law enforcement.

Tips & Warnings

• Peer support is important in resolving bullying. Provide friendship and support for a victim and don't be afraid to speak up yourself and let an adult know that someone you know is being picked on.

References

• Web MD; Bullying -- how children can discourage bullying
• Kids Health.org; Helping kids deal with bullies
• American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry; Facts for families -- bullying

Resources

• Stop Bullying.gov; Are you being bullied? -- kids
• Love Our Children USA; Bullying and guns at school