How to Get Kids to Listen Without Arguing
Communication is key in any relationship. When communicating with your child you need to set an example. Positive communication can prevent and deescalate arguments. Examine how you have communicated with your child in the past to identify where changes can be made. A few adjustments can help improve your relationship.
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Instructions
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Address your children by name, then make your request. Avoid starting with a command which may lose your child's attention.
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Use a positive tone of voice when addressing your child. A positive tone will hold your child's attention better than yelling.
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Establish consequences. Let him know that when you ask him to do something there will be a consequence if he doesn't do it. Always follow through. Your child will not take the consequences seriously if you habitually bend the rules.
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Acknowledge your child when he does listen to you. After he completes the task you assigned him remember to thank him for doing so. Positive attention will reinforce positive behavior.
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Keep sentences short and simple. The request can get lost if you talk too much.
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Ask the child to repeat your words back to you. If your child knows that you are going to ask him to do this he will be more likely to pay attention when you are speaking.
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Give incentives. When asking your child to put on his shoes, remind him that he cannot play outside until he does. This will help him understand the reason why he needs to do what he's told. Additionally, you will sound less like a dictator and more like you are interested in what's best for your child.
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Do not yell. Instead of shouting across the house at your child, go into the same room before starting a conversation with her. When you drop what you are doing to speak to your child, it conveys the importance of what you're saying.
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Leave a sticky note or message on a dry erase board for your older children if you have a question or task for them to complete. Keep the notes light and funny. You don't want to appear cold.
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Deescalate the situation. If your child responds with yelling, keep your tone calm and steady. Resist the urge to shout over your child's voice, which can cause the situation to become more tense and frustrating.
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Listen to your child. Stop what you are doing and face your child when he is speaking to you. This will let him know that you care about what he says.
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References
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