How to Write a Letter That Explains Burial Desires
It is inevitable that we all shuffle off our mortal coil, and specifying what you want to happen to your remains puts you in control of what can be viewed as your last wish. If you wish to be buried after you die, clarify your wishes to make it easier for grieving loved ones so they aren't left speculating about where and how you wanted to be buried. This final curtain act may seem macabre to some, but writing a letter is an effective way to get what you want. That way nobody is left guessing.
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Instructions
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Think about where you want to be buried. It could be that you want to eternally rest beside your spouse or in a family cemetery. Then again, if you frequently travel or live overseas, you may prefer to be buried where you die.
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Check to make sure where you want to be buried is legal. Some people, for instance, want to be buried in their garden, but it goes against city or state regulations.
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Address your letter to your executrix. She will be a key decision maker after you die, so it is good that she knows your burial wishes.
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Write your burial desires in easy-to-understand language. Specify exactly where you want to be buried, and indicate whether or not you have already purchased the burial plot.
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State your name and intentions. For example, write "I, Mary Stevens, want to be buried at the Garden Lawn Cemetery, in the pre-purchased plot next to my late husband, Grant."
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Indicate what sort of coffin and headstone you want. Some people want an expensive coffin with all the trimmings, while others prefer a plain pine box. Again, record whether a coffin has been purchased and which funeral home you want to handle the arrangements.
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Tell your executor whether you want to be embalmed or not. This is particularly important if you want a green or direct burial. The more specific you are the better, as it means that grieving people won't have to make decisions that go against your wishes.
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Specify if you want to be buried with special things, such as your wedding ring or your favorite book. Some people feel more secure knowing they have personal things with them. Think of the pharaohs of Egypt, for instance.
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Leave your burial desire letter for a day or so. Reread it and correct any spelling or grammar mistakes. Read the letter aloud and listen to what you've said. Be sure it is exactly what you want.
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Sign your burial-desires letter. Put a copy with your will and send or give one to your executor.
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Tips & Warnings
Along with your burial-desires letter, you may also want to write your obituary and epitaph so that the announcements say what you want.
References
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