How to Get the Guts to Ask a Girl Out

The idea of asking her out on a date is intimidating.

Asking the girl you have been admiring for a while on a date is a daunting task that may scare you away initially. It is only when you consider the alternatives, such as never knowing what might have happened, her being asked out by another guy, or missing out on a great dating relationship, that you deem it to be worth the risk. While putting yourself out there is a scary thing to do, the chance to spend time with a girl and build up your own confidence at the same time may beckon you strongly.

Instructions

1. Be realistic. Getting the guts to ask a girl out first starts with you taking an honest inventory of several factors: your age, your experience, your desires in life at this point (serious relationship or casual dating?) and the girl on whom you have your eye. Keeping a level head through the entire process will give you the calmness you need to approach the girl with confidence. Girls like to go on dates with guys who have identities apart from dating. Considering the best- and worst-case scenario and accepting both results will help prepare you for the big moment.

2. Focus on your positive qualities. Getting the guts to ask her out first starts with you getting a boost of self-confidence. Look over who you are, including your physical appearance, personality, spiritual beliefs and friendships. Embrace everything that makes you different and special and focus on any specific passions you may have. Having a complete identity is extremely attractive to women, and when you love who you are and have the confidence to show it off, it will be difficult for some girls to say no to your request.

3. Talk to a trusted friend. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the idea of asking out the girl you like, spend a day shooting some hoops with one of your best guy friends. Let just hanging out with someone you admire and respect build you up and get your mind off of the situation for a little while. Doing physical activity is especially encouraged to work off any extra energy you may have. Finally, talk to your guy friend about what is making you nervous about the situation and let him give you some much-needed encouragement. After this time, you will likely have a new perspective, more confidence and a buddy who understands backing you up.

4. Take a day for yourself. Before asking out the girl you admire, take a day to do the things you love and get into what you are passionate about. If you love to run, choose a day in which you have no obligations and just spend time running and clearing your head. If you are religious, head to church, as the service may relax and encourage you. Getting into what you love will remind you that you have interests, a life and deep value.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not get too discouraged if she says no. Allow yourself to feel heartbroken, get your frustration out and move on, encouraged that you were brave enough to take the risk. Whatever you do, do not let one rejection damage your self confidence or keep you from trying again in the future.

References

• Advancing Women: How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection