How to Date with Age Differences
Age has no control over the attraction that people may feel for each other. In fact, a couple may be well into the first date before the subject of age arises. However, they may discover their age gap is more of an issue with other people. Unlike a couple of similar age, people with an age difference may invite opinion and scrutiny from others. As long as the couple works through any age-related issues together, there is no reason they cannot go on to enjoy a happy and loving relationship.
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Instructions
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Get to know each other slowly. It is usually physical attraction and chemistry that draw a couple together in the first instance. Do not mistake the excitement of dating a person who is older or younger than you for something stronger. Just like any other relationship, you will both need to get to know each other to discover if you are compatible. If your relationship is strong, it should last beyond the novelty of the age-gap wearing off.
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Act your age. To give your relationship a chance of working, you both need to embrace and accept the age difference. Someone in his 40s is never going to see his 20s again, no matter how old his partner is. You want the other person to like you for who you are and not someone you are trying to be to impress her. Aside from starting the relationship off on the wrong foot, trying to act any different to who you are will lead to embarrassment for you both.
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Understand not everyone will be happy about your relationship. Family and friends may take some time to warm to the idea that your date is older or younger than you. This can put pressure on a new relationship, especially if his family and friends feel the same way. Give them time to get used to it, and once they see how you feel about each other they should become more accepting, says relationship coach Ruth Purple in a self growth website article. Remember your family and friend's concerns are genuine, if slightly misguided, so do not be too hard on them
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Think about what you want from life and understand she may not have the same goals. For example, if she has been married and has children, she may not want to do it all again. If you have always seen marriage and children in your future, than one of you is going to be disappointed. Setting and achieving goals and milestones as a couple helps to strengthen a relationship. Achieving things together is still possible in an age gap relationship although there may be some compromise.
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Understand your past relationship history is likely to be vastly different to his. He may have been married, possibly more than once, while this may be your first serious relationship. Experience should not influence a current relationship. Depending on the age difference, he may have lived through a marriage and a divorce before you even left school. You may worry your inexperience will put him off and he may worry he has baggage that will make you think twice. Accepting each other's past and focusing on the future is important and will help your relationship thrive.
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Tips & Warnings
Do not feel you have to repeatedly acknowledge the age difference. People will be able to see there is an age gap; bringing it up repeatedly will just make it more of an issue.
If your partner has children, do not become involved with his ex-wife beyond pleasantries. Any issues regarding child support or access are the responsibility of your partner, not you.
References
Resources
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