How to Get Your Big Sister to Stop Fighting

Positive conflict resolution helps you grow in maturity and love.

Many parents tell their children that it takes two to argue or fight. When your sister fights you, you only make things worse by losing your patience, answering back or getting mad. If you want to improve your relationship with your sister and eliminate fighting on a regular basis, learn how to reach out to your sister, communicating your willingness to do your part to strengthen the relationship and resolve differences through open communication and compromise instead of conflict

Instructions

1. Think about your own actions. If you have done something that annoys your sister, like using her things without permission, ruining something or saying something mean about her to friends, apologize for what you did and try to fix things by returning what you took, replacing what you borrowed or taking back what you said.

2. See things from your sister's point of view. Maybe she had a bad day, failed a test at school or got into a fight with a friend. Difficult circumstances might make her fight you more easily than usual. Understanding where she's coming from can help you be more sympathetic and avoid things that might make her angry.

3. Do things to show your sister that you care about her. If she's had a hard day, you could make her a snack, do one of her chores for her or put a flower in her room. Knowing that you appreciate and love her can help her calm down and stop fighting.

4. Communicate clearly with her and find solutions that work for both of you. Make sure she understands that you don't intend to hurt her and that you don't want to fight. If you believe she is in the wrong, tell her so calmly and politely. Be open to hearing her perspective and discussing yours. Ask her to explain what's bothering her instead of fighting. See what you can do to help. If you communicate well on a regular basis, it will be easier to detect and resolve differences before they turn into fights.

References

• Education.com: Ask the Child Psychologist: I Want to Stop Fighting with My Sister
• University of Wisconsin-Madison: Eight Steps For Conflict Resolution

Resources

• Good Character: Teaching Guide: Resolving Conflicts