How to Move From Betrayal to Forgiveness to Trust
If someone has betrayed you, it can be difficult to forgive and eventually trust again. Indeed, you may need to end the relationship with the person who betrayed you in order to trust other people in the future. It is important, though, to forgive the person who betrayed you, as it takes a lot of energy to feel sadness and/or hatred. Only time and forgiveness can let you move on to trusting again.
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Instructions
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Discuss the betrayal with the person who betrayed you. This is different from having a drawn-out fight. Rather, you need to frankly and honestly talk to him about what happened and why it happened. You should also talk about what he is going to do in the future to make sure it does not happen again.
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Choose to forgive. This is not the same as accepting the other person's behavior or remaining in the relationship (be it friendship or otherwise). Rather, it is choosing to move forward without punishing or obsessing over the betrayal.
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Forgive on a regular basis. There are layers to this process; it is not an "all-or-nothing" deal, where once you make the choice you automatically feel better. Rather, you will forgive a little bit every day and take a step toward trust every day.
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Avoid blaming yourself. You will find that this will become easier as you push through the layers of forgiveness. Betrayal is a two-way street. On one hand, you will feel like a victim, but on the other you will question your own judgment for getting into that situation in the first place. Push these thoughts out of your head whenever they surface, and focus on forgiving.
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Walk away if you have to. Sometimes people betray you so thoroughly that they do not deserve to have you in their life any longer. You can forgive them without being around them.
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Forgive a little bit more with every passing day. Eventually you will realize that the betrayal does not feel as raw, and you will regain your ability to trust again.
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References
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