How to Tell a Guy That He Smells

Failing to use deodorant can lead to body odor.

Delivering bad news is never easy, but the task is made more delicate by delivering a personal critique. No one likes his flaws pointed out to him, and odors are a particularly sensitive area. It's hard to completely avoid embarrassment for the recipient of the "you smell" talk. Approach the task with empathy and be prepared to offer solutions, such as a new deodorant or soap option. But, avoid subtle hints, such as sniffing the air or casually mentioning a smell -- if the guy hasn't picked up on his odor, he's unlikely to pick up on the hints.

Instructions

1. Wait until the two of you are alone and in neutral setting, if possible. Do not initiate the talk during intimate times, in a public space, when you're arguing or rushed for time.

2. Tell the guy, "I need to mention something to you. I've noticed you've had bad body odor lately." Say it straightforward and look him in the eye. Use an even, non-accusatory tone and refrain from delivering a litany of all the times he has smelled bad.

3. Ask if the guy is out of deodorant or has begun using a new kind of shower or laundry soap. Suggest that these items may be to blame. If the answer is no, ask him to consider switching to a new brand to see if the problem is solved.

4. Look into the guy's shower, if possible, to see if he is using a wash cloth or loofah when bathing. Suggest he do so.

5. Remind the guy that certain odors, such as gym sweat or old cigarette smoke, can remain embedded in clothes if not washed vigorously. If you suspect this is the problem, suggest an approach that has worked for you, such as immediately washing smelly clothes and taking a shower.

6. Allow the guy to respond and think of ways of solving the issue together, if he seems willing. If he gets defensive, do not push the point -- he will likely think about and try to correct the issue, but simply does not want to discuss it further.

Tips & Warnings

• Investigate further if the issue does not improve after a week. Certain medical conditions can cause a foul body odor, so if you're sure the guy is bathing properly, using deodorant and washing his clothes, suggest he visit a doctor for an evaluation.

• This conversation is easiest to have with a guy with whom you're close. Consider enlisting the help of another friend or relative of the odorous person if you do not have a close relationship.

• If you have a smelly coworker, mention the issue to a human resources representative rather than confronting the person yourself. Someone in human resources can talk to the coworker and is trained to do so.

References

• Lemondrop: Eau No! How Do You Tactfully Tell a Guy He Smells?; Liz Scott; March 2010
• Columbia University: Go Ask Alice -- How to Tell Someone, 'You Smell;' November 1999