How to Date With Etiquette

Polite guestures can go a long way on a date.

Dating is an experience full of subtle signals and social cues. As your date scopes you out, she looks for any hint that may provide insight into your character. Thus, displaying proper dating etiquette is crucial to making a good impression and securing a second date. However, being polite does not have to mean being formal and you should not let the idea of etiquette stop you from acting naturally. Apply dating etiquette to convey politeness, not phoniness.

Instructions

1. Choose an appropriate location for the date. According to Debretts, the person who initiated the date is the one in charge of making the arrangements. Choose a location that you feel suits your date's personality and interests. For example, don't go to a hockey game if you know your date isn't a sports fan, or don't go to see a horror movie if your date doesn't like watching violent films. According to "Men's Health," you shouldn't ask your date where she wants to go. Show you're in control and take responsibility for planning the location. However, if you have already been on a few dates with the person, it might be nice to give her a few different options for where to go on the date. Make it clear that you are not shirking the date planning onto her, but that you openly welcome her input.

2. Be punctual in arriving for the date or in picking your date up. Punctuality shows you take the date seriously and you value your time together. Showing up late conveys to your date that her time isn't important and sets an atmosphere of disrespect.

3. Dress appropriately for the date. If the date takes place at a formal restaurant, for example, wear something a bit nicer than just jeans and a t-shirt. According to "Men's Health," dressing too casually for a date shows that you're not that bothered about it. Ditch your scruffy, light-colored jeans for a dark, well-tailored pair and swap your t-shirt for a more formal button-up shirt. On the other hand, if the date takes place somewhere more casual, like a baseball game or at a pub, don't overdress. A designer t-shirt and jeans is perfectly acceptable for such situations. Regardless of the formality of the occasion, make an effort with your appearance to show your date that spending time with her matters to you.

4. Show your date you're listening by using physical and verbal communication. For example, Debretts suggests nodding your head to show you're following along with the conversation and making eye contact to show you're engaged. Ask questions and encourage your date to expand on the discussion. Repeat what she's said back to her so she recognizes that you have been listening. Don't allow yourself to talk for too long without asking for her input. Don't make calls, text or continually check your phone during the date. Let her know she has your full attention.

5. Avoid controversial topics, especially on a first date. For example, don't bring up religion or politics unless you're sure that both of you will be able to handle the topics carefully and politely. If you do find yourself engaged in a heated topic, let the argument go and change the subject to something less contentious.

6. Make chivalrous gestures throughout the date to build an atmosphere of respectful romance. Open doors for your date, pull out her chair for her, let her order first and offer to walk her to her doorstep. However, be aware that certain women dislike old fashioned notions of chivalry. If she assertively opens the door herself or declines your offer to walk her to her doorstep, don't be pushy. Pick up on these cues and adjust the amount of chivalry you show her accordingly.

7. Pay for the bill if you were the one who initiated the date. If your date insists to split the bill with you, tell her she can pay the next time. This is also a polite and subtle way of saying you're interested in a second date. Contemporary dating etiquette only requires the man to pay the bill if he was the one who arranged the date, so respectfully allow your date to pay if she was the date initiator.

8. Call or text the person after your date to thank her for a nice evening. Tell her that you enjoyed the date. However, if you did not have a good time on the date there is no need to be dishonest. Instead, briefly and politely thank her for her company.

References

• Debretts: Dating Etiquette
• "Los Angeles Times"; Manners -- What a Romanic Notion; Kathleen Clary Miller; April 2008
• Men's Health: The Top Ten Dating Mistakes