How to Ask a Man to Commit

Commitment can be a difficult subject to talk about, but broaching the subject can make a relationship stronger.

Broaching the subject of settling down can be a nerve-wracking experience for a woman. By approaching the subject in a non-threatening way, moving to a more committed level in the relationship can be a much smoother process. A man won't settle down if he is not ready to do so, but talking about it might help him realize that he is even if it's something he hasn't really considered before.

Instructions

1. Make yourself busy with a new hobby or two. Not including him in things that he would enjoy makes him feel left out. He will be more inclined to commit if he has to compete with other parts of your life for attention.

2. Take an extended vacation with friends to give him a taste of life without you for a while. Chances are he will miss that time with you and worry about who you are spending time with while away.

3. Act as if you are already in a committed relationship. Ask him to pick up things from the store and plan outings. He might slip into the committed role without even noticing it. Even if he backs off a bit, you are in a better position to discuss the future with him after this point.

4. Talk about your future and include him in your discussion. Talk about things like a career and a home and wait until you are more comfortable before talking about children or marriage. If you ease him in gradually, he will be able to accept the commitment easier than if you throw it all at him at once.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid marriage and child talk until he feels comfortable talking about those subjects.

• Pretending to go out with other men can upset him enough to leave you.

References

• Bowdoin Orient: "Are Men Really Commitment Phobic?" Fariha Mahmud, Alana Wooley; April 15, 2005
• University of Colorado: "Marriage, Cohabitation and Commitment"; Murat Iyigun; June 2009
• Journal of Neurophysiology: "Reward, Addiction, and Emotion Regulation Systems Associated with Rejection in Love"; Helen E. Fisher et al; August 2009