How to Ask a Spouse to Renew Vows
Wedding vows are more than just words spoken before a man and a woman engage in their first kiss as husband and wife. The vows are a covenant between two people making a commitment to each other -- until death. In the same way, a vow-renewal ceremony is more than just a ritual that couples perform after a set amount of time together. The ceremony is a sacred reminder to family and friends, and to you and your spouse, that the words spoken years ago remain true today and will remain true tomorrow.
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Instructions
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Choose the right time to ask. According to the Professor's House website, asking your spouse to renew vows at a time when the two of you aren't getting along or are going through a rough patch is not recommended, as you risk your spouse saying "no" or "now isn't the right time." The Knot website recommends asking as a milestone is approaching, such as your 10-year anniversary.
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Speak with your spouse about renewing your vows when the two of you are alone and able to have a conversation. Asking to renew wedding vows does not have to be a "down on one knee" moment, unless you want it to be. Explain to your spouse why this is the right time for such an event, such as an upcoming special anniversary or the fact that your children are preparing for college.
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Review the vows you spoke on your wedding day with your spouse. Some individuals use traditional vows while others prepare their own. Familiarizing yourself with the vows is helpful in reminding both you and your spouse what it is you will eventually be renewing.
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Tell your spouse what a reaffirmation ceremony means to you. Explaining why you want to renew your marriage vows informs your spouse that the action is more than just a silly event that couples do. Such ceremonies mean different things to different people. Recommitting yourself to your spouse or having your union blessed by a reverend or priest are some reasons why couples renew their vows.
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Ask for your spouse's input regarding the event. Since this isn't a proposal, a romance-only talk isn't necessary. Have an open conversation about what you both want from that particular day. Talk about who you would invite, where the renewal would take place and other pertinent topics.
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Tips & Warnings
Some individuals that did not originally have a marriage ceremony inside of a place of worship choose to have a reaffirmation ceremony before a "milestone date," such as immediately after the honeymoon.
Remember that there is no one right way to ask your spouse to renew vows. As cliche as it may seem, speak from your heart during the conversation. Don't worry about rehearsing things, as the right words will come at the right time.
