How to Curb Aggressive Behavior in 4 & 5 Year Olds

Sometimes children use fists, not words.

At one point or another, most children have difficulty using their words to solve a disagreement. Picture this: Your child has a toy taken away from him on the playground, creating a knee jerk reaction of slugging the child who took the toy. Your immediate reaction is horror because you never saw your child behave that way. Such behavior is normal for developing children. Taking certain actions, however, will help you curb aggressive behavior in 4- and 5-year-old children.

Instructions

Separation

1. 

   Talking it out with your child helps.

   Separate aggressive children and put them in a timeout location for five minutes. Do that as soon as you witness aggressive behavior.

2. 

   Listen to what your child says.

   Ask your child why she was angry. You probably will receive a response such as, "He took my toy" or "She called me stupid." Listen attentively to your child's response.

3. 

   Peaceful interactions are essential for 4- and 5-year-old children.

   Ask your child questions such as, "Do you think that it was OK to hit someone?" and "What can you do next time?" Encourage your child to use his words rather than his fists.

4. 

   Timeout and losing privileges can be effective.

   Discourage aggressive behavior by using timeout or loss of privileges. If you are consistent, the child will learn that aggressive behavior leads to a timeout or loss of privileges.

5. Include your child's pediatrician. The pediatrician can perform behavioral testing to see whether your child is developing normally or might have a disorder.

Tips & Warnings

• Be calm and patient with your child.

• Model the behavior that you want your child to display.

• Encourage dialogue with your child when emotions are too much to handle.

• Check with your child's pediatrician if the methods you use do not improve your child's behavior.

References

• eMedicine: Oppositional Defiant Disorder; W Douglas Tynan, Ph.D.; Feb. 8, 2008
• "Time;" Does Kindergarten Need Cops?; Claudia Wallis; Dec. 7, 2003
• Baby Center: Aggression: Why it Happens and What to Do About it; Bonnie Monte

Resources

• "Pediatrics;" American Academy of Pediatrics: Guidance for Effective Discipline; April 1998