How to Practice Effective Communication
Effective communication is crucial in parent-child interaction, between friends or coworkers and in marital, teacher-student and employee-boss relationships. Techniques include interpreting non-verbal cues, validation, reflective listening, using "I" statements and practicing conflict-resolution skills. Use these methods when communicating with everyone. Any relationship can be improved with effective communication.
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Instructions
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Examine the other person's body language and facial expressions and be mindful of your own. Watch for eye contact and gestures such as nodding the head or folding arms against the chest. Although someone may say one thing, her body language may express what she really feels. Nodding while someone speaks implies you are listening and agree with him; standing with your arms crossed may imply you are defensive or closed off to what he says.
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Give feedback after someone speaks to you; verify you understand the message. If your boss assigns a task, for example, tell her what you think the assignment involves, ensuring you are both in agreement. Your boss will confirm you understand the task, or she will elaborate on unclear points. This technique may particularly benefit marriages and reduce misunderstandings.
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Validate the other person's feelings when communicating with others -- whether it is your child, spouse, friend or coworker. You don't have to always agree with the other person's feelings, but if you say you recognize or understand his feelings, the conversation will likely be productive and end positively. Say statements such as "I can see why that would make you angry" and "It sounds like that was very frustrating for you."
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Use "I" rather than "you" statements -- especially when confronting someone. For instance, imagine a man works over-time and doesn't call his spouse to say he will be late. When he arrives, if she verbally attacks him with statements such as "You are inconsiderate. You always do this to me" or "You should call me and you know it," he may be defensive and a marital argument could erupt. If the woman responds to her spouse in a calm voice -- using an "I" statement such as "When you are late and don't call, I get worried and concerned that something has happened to you. I need to know you are all right and that everything is okay between us" -- it sets a different tone.
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Practice conflict-resolution skills when discussing a contentious issue. There are many conflict styles -- such as competitive, compromising, accommodating, collaborative and avoidance -- so it's no wonder relationships can easily sour. Each person should state what she identifies as the problem at hand. Both partners should agree to brainstorm solutions that derive a win-win situation. Agree to choose a solution you both can live with, even if it's not the ideal solution for either of you.
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Tips & Warnings
Monitor your voice's tone and volume. If your tone sounds angry or you raise your voice, it won't matter if are telling someone with words that you are not angry. To defuse a heated conversation, keep your voice calm and at low volume even if your partner raises his voice.
References
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