How to Potty Train a Three-Year-Old Boy That Understands & Just Refuses

Make the responsiblity to use the toilet his own rather than a point of contention between the two of you.

Sitting still long enough to completely use the potty may delay toilet training for boys. However, by age 3 most boys can grasp the concept of using the potty. If your son hides when soiling his underwear or will only relieve himself in diapers or pullups it's safe to assume that he understands the concept of using the potty but is resistant to doing so.

Things You'll Need

• Sticker chart
• Small treats or incentives

Instructions

1. Celebrate becoming a big boy by allowing him to pick out a few packages of underwear at the store. If he already has underwear, have a "Big Boy Party" and explain that since he's now officially a big boy he gets to wear underwear all the time except during the nights and for naps.

   Also create a sticker chart and let him pick out a sticker for the chart each time he uses the potty by himself.

2. Replace his daytime diapers and pullups with underwear. Explain again that being a big boy means using the potty. Remind him of the incentives, whether it's stickers or a small treat like a piece of candy. Brace yourself, and ignore the tantrums that will likely follow. If he refuses to put on the underwear, let him wear pants or shorts but without the diaper.

3. Offer lavish praises and encouragement when he attempts to use the potty, even if he doesn't make it there in time.

   Don't nag. Your well intentioned reminders may further aggravate him and stubborn children are likely to view your reminders as more reason to rebel. Bring up the subject only when providing matter-of-fact directions to clean up or change clothing.

4. Acknowledge accidents but don't punish him for them. About 1.5 percent of children experience fecal soiling but boys are six times more likely than girls to accidentally soil themselves, according to the National Academy of Pediatrics. Instead, note the discomfort of being wet and messy and suggest that he changes into clean clothes. Resist the urge to express frustration, disapproval or to say anything that suggests bathroom accidents are embarrassing or disgusting.

5. Show him how to clean his legs and genital area to prevent rashes, irritation and the smell of urine. If it's just urine, he can probably change into dry clothing by himself, but will need your help when he soils his pants.

6. Place potty chairs in areas of the house that are often used by your son. Boys in particular have a more difficult time breaking their concentration from playing to leave the room and relieve themselves. Doing this makes it easier for him to remember to use the potty. Gradually move the chairs toward the bathroom over a period of a few weeks as he gets accustomed to using them.

Tips & Warnings

• Brag about his success to your friends and relatives. Receiving lots of attention for cooperating and little attention for refusing will encourage him to keep using the potty.

• Monitor your son's habits for the first few "no-diaper" days to make sure he isn't simply holding his bowel movements. If he prefers to defecate in a diaper, allow him to do so given the serious medical consequences of holding in stool. Speak with your pediatrician if you notice constipation or diarrhea that may make using the potty intimidating or uncomfortable.

References

• University of Michigan: Toilet Training
• Children's Physician Network:
• Healthy Children: Gender Differences in Potty Training
• Fecal Soiling