How to Teach Responsibility to Troubled Teenager Boys
Teenagers are often difficult to deal with from a parenting or discipline standpoint because they are old enough to to start making decisions on their own and often have a rebellious nature due to hormonal changes coupled with a natural urge for greater freedoms. Troubled teenage boys are often more defiant due if they have had a traumatic past and they may be more likely to act out in aggressive or violent fashion, as well. Teaching responsibility to troubled teenage boys requires patience and discipline but the results can greatly benefit the boys in the years to come.
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Instructions
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Establish regular chores for the boys to perform. Even small duties, such as taking out the trash, helps to establish a sense of purpose and requires regular diligence from the teen.
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Use the "stick and carrot" theory by taking away privileges when chores and other duties are not performed properly, while rewarding good behavior with an allowance or additional perks. If teens get accustomed to a structure where irresponsible behavior has bad consequences while responsible behavior is rewarded, they are more likely to act in a responsible manner.
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Get the teen involved in an organized sport or activity. Teenage boys typically enjoy sports and a regular activity such as football or baseball helps instill a sense of team camaraderie and the need to do his part to support that team and help in its success. The coach also serves as an additional authority figure and mentor and the physicality helps burn off aggressive energy. Singular sports such as boxing are also useful as a way of focusing negative energy toward a positive result. World-renowned boxers such as Evander Holyfield have credited youth gym and boxing programs for giving them direction, teaching responsibility and keeping them out of trouble as teens.
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Enter the teenager into a mentoring program. Having a mentor to regularly spend time with the boy and engage in various activities with him helps provide another authority figure who can reinforce positive and responsible life habits. Mentors often come from troubled backgrounds themselves and can identify with the teen's struggles in a way that parents and educators cannot.
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Require the teen to get a job. The options for jobs vary depending on the boy's age but earning income and having regular job responsibilities on a part-time basis encourages responsible habits.
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Monitor the teen's grades and speak with his teachers regularly. Education should be one of the primary responsibilities of the teen and could also be one of the first things a troubled boy will blow off. Use tutors and teacher meetings as needed to help keep your teen caught up on lessons and work. Also, hold him accountable for missed assignments or for poor behavior in class.
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Provide a low-limit credit card to the teen to encourage financial responsibility. The limit should be low enough that it shuts down before a teen spends recklessly but by giving the teen access to the card and making him responsible for the bill and any interest payments that result, he will quickly start to learn the importance of responsible financial planning. Do not pay the bill for the teen if he makes a mistake because then the card becomes a crutch without consequence, which then has the opposite effect of what you want. If you have to pay off a balance to the bank, ensure the teen still owes you that balance and continue to add the same interest the bank was charging you.
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References
- Photo Credit teenager. image by Kurhan from Fotolia.com
