How to Handle Unrealistic Relatives at Christmas

Preparing yourself mentally is step one to dealing with difficult relatives.

Holiday gatherings can be joyous occasions, with relatives coming from afar to be together and share a meal. But a family gathering can bring as many headaches as it does smiles, particularly when you must deal with a difficult relative. One of the more frustrating experiences at a Christmas gathering is dealing with a family member who has unrealistic expectations and demands. Whether commenting on the gifts, the food or the weather, an unrealistic guest always has something to complain about.

Instructions

1. Prepare responses to problems a complainer is likely to find in foreseeable areas, such as the food.

2. Remain calm when dealing with the unrealistic guest. Responding with anger or complaints of your own will escalate the problem.

3. Take breaks away from the unrealistic family member when possible.

4. Ignore the complaints on a personal level. As you anticipate the member with unrealistic expectations to find faults, it becomes easier to prevent his or her complaints from upsetting you.

5. Deflect complaints when possible by pre-empting them or agreeing. Making a simple statement like, "The biscuits are a bit overcooked" as they are brought out can cut the complainer off before he or she starts.

6. Remember that your time with the complainer is temporary. This realization can help keep you calm as things get irritating.

7. Have an exit plan, such as a specific time you must be on the road, if you are not the host.

8. Relax in the days after the family's visit. Failing to properly unwind from the stress of dealing with a difficult relative can cast a shadow that hangs for weeks if you don't allow for a proper relaxation period.

References

• Gladeana McMahon: How to Deal with Difficult Relatives Over Christmas
• Side Road: Dealing with Difficult Relatives During the Holidays