How to Compromise in a Blended Family
Divorce and remarriage is relatively common in contemporary society, making blended families a reality for many Americans. Combining his and hers is rarely a seamless undertaking--despite the inevitable challenges, however, it can work to everyone's satisfaction. Many variables come into play. The ages of the children are important, as is the nature of the relationships between their divorced parents. Complexity levels increase when both sets of kids take up residence in a single home. Armed with goodwill and realistic expectations, the potential exists for a blended family to be a happy family.
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Instructions
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Review specific parenting issues before you get together as a family. According to the Expressive Communication website, people interested in blending a family successfully should not just hope that things will work out. Discussing issues, such as attitudes to discipline and parenting styles will not prevent every single problem, but it will make resolution easier. Decide in advance how to handle discipline of the kids. You need to determine what role, if any, the step-parent plays in this sensitive area.
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Talk about what's important with the children beforehand, though this may not always be easy. Establish a few ground rules, such as mandating respect among family members. Don't sweat the small stuff--petty rules engender resentment. Have realistic expectations of your relationship with your spouse's children. Do not try to usurp the other parent--you're doomed to fail. Aim to build your own unique relationship with your stepchildren.
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Support your partner in her approach to parenting. Talk over disagreements in private. Avoid labeling each other. Describing your partner as being, "too easy-going," or "too rigid," is unhelpful and obstructs compromise and progress. Compromise, in partnership with the desire to succeed as a family, are the most important ingredients in the blend.
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Tips & Warnings
Encourage your stepchild to see her other biological parent regularly. Encourage their good relationship.
Never say negative things about the other biological parent in front of the child.
References
- Photo Credit family image by Mat Hayward from Fotolia.com
