How to Overcome Jealousy With a Loved One

Don't let your jealous behavior in past relationships ruin future ones.

Jealousy is one factor that can eat away at a relationship and ultimately cause it to fail. One third of marriages end up in counseling because of jealousy issues. Learn to cope with feelings of jealousy before they spin out of control. Ensure that jealousy doesn't end the relationship.

Instructions

1. Accept and acknowledge your feelings of jealousy. Recognize when you are feeling jealous, and accept that you are feeling that way. Do not be angry with yourself for having jealous feelings. Recognize that you have the choice to act or reject those jealous feelings; acting on them typically causes more damage to your relationship. Exercise self-control.

2. Examine and shift your expectations. Write down the details of what caused you to feel jealous. Examine your past to assess what the driving force was behind that feeling.

3. Ask a trusted confidant for his opinion of the situation. Ask your friend to observe your interaction with your partner. A neutral party might help you understand the ways in which your jealousy affects you and your partner.

4. Talk calmly and openly to your partner about the behaviors that make you feel jealous and insecure. Avoid making accusations. Express yourself clearly and blamelessly, and give your partner the chance to respond. Work to develop an open, trusting relationship.

References

• "Psychology Today"; Romantic Jealousy; A.M. Pines, et al; March, 1992
• "Psychology Today"; Jealousy is a Killer: How to Break Free from Your Jealous Feelings; Robert L. Leahy; May, 2008