How to Parent Children with Behavior Problems
According to a 2002 study by UCLA Department of Psychology, children's behavioral problems are more stressing for parents than cognitive delays. Some behavior issues stem from conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD; autism; or oppositional defiant disorder; others can arise from environmental causes including parenting techniques. Regardless of the cause, behavior problems in children can create havoc in the home and interfere with a child's development and well-being.
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Instructions
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Get a comprehensive health exam for your child to rule out any physical causes. Sometimes, children act out when experiencing health problems. For instance, a child who is having difficulty with hearing, vision or pain will be frustrated and afraid. Discuss issues with the child's pediatrician.
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Rule out other causes -- such as ADHD or oppositional defiant disorder -- if a child's behavior is interfering with school success, leading to difficulties with peers or involves explosive temper tantrums beyond the normal limits. Your pediatrician should be able to refer you to a child psychologist, counselor or psychiatrist for evaluation.
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Be consistent and clear about your expectations and rules for your child. Don't overwhelm a child with an encyclopedia of dos and don'ts. Explain the consequences for infractions and always follow through. Work with teachers, relatives and other caregivers to maintain a consistent approach to discipline.
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Remain calm and resist arguing. Keep your voice at a normal pitch and volume regardless of your child's intensity. Don't get pulled into the child's arguments but maintain your composure and consistency in discipline. If necessary, take a moment to clear your mind and get your blood pressure normalized by leaving the room briefly.
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Keep things positive whenever possible. If there is an upside to a behavior, an improvement, compliance or acceptance without argument, focus on this more than the undesirable behaviors. While rewarding good behavior can become a trap, used in moderation it can be a motivator. However, a smile and a pat on the back should be the primary force in building positive behavior. Also, point out how the good behavior benefits the child. For instance, say, "When you don't argue with me about doing your chore you end up having more time to play outside."
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Schedule a child's day consistently but with some flexibility. A child should have a sense of what comes next and how much time different tasks require. Should a visitor arrive or holidays come up on the calendar, some flexibility will be needed; but staying as close to the normal schedule will help a child to keep equilibrium.
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Make certain your child's physical needs for activity, sleep and healthy food are met daily. A tired or hungry child is much more likely to misbehave. Also, make sure the child's emotional needs are met. Look children in the eye when talking, and truly listen to what they have to say. Provide a child with choices, when possible, to build a sense of empowerment and to diminish a battle of wills.
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Tips & Warnings
No matter how overwhelming it may be, responding to a child's misbehavior with physical discipline will only likely make the child angrier and her compliance temporary. Additionally, with a child with behavior problems, corporal punishment can easily lead to child abuse. Time-outs and loss of privileges can be far more effective and hold a child accountable for his or her own behavior.
