How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Your Spouse

Showing affection, practicing communication and resolving conflict help to build a strong relationship.

If you wish to improve the quality of the relationship you share with your spouse, you'll be pleased to know there are many ways to increase happiness and satisfaction for you both. In North America, between 45 to 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Learning how to maintain a strong and nurturing relationship with your spouse has never been more important than it is today. Work together with your spouse to create a strong partnership that is joyful and beneficial for you both.

Instructions

1. 

   Affection can be demonstrated through touch, gift giving, giving a help hand or just being there.

   Show affection to your spouse every day. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of "The Five Love Languages," communicating love to your spouse is the most important aspect to keeping any relationship healthy and happy. Your spouse feels secure when they know that they are loved, accepted and that you are committed to their well being, says Dr. Chapman. Find out what your spouse needs most in order to feel loved and strive to accomplish those things.

2. 

   Developing good listening skills is important in every relationship.

   Communicate your emotions, needs and values clearly to your spouse. Poor communication and listening skills are some of the primary sources of conflict, according to Richard Bolstad, author of "Transforming Communication." Talk through issues and problems with your spouse when you are both feeling calm and resourceful. Be prepared to be flexible for your partner and remember that communication is not just about being able to talk about your problems, it's about being able to listen to other people's problems too.

3. 

   Criticizing your spouse can have negative consequences.

   Avoid criticizing and judging your spouse. Giving praise to your spouse is important as it guides them as to what is important to you, what you like about them and what they do that makes you feel loved. Constantly criticizing one another drives a wedge in the relationship, creates resentment and halts communication. The more you praise your spouse for something they have done, the more willing your spouse will be to continue doing those tasks.

4. 

   Allow room for you both to grow and change during your relationship.

   Balance time together and time apart. Allow for personal growth, new and different interests, different values and viewpoints in your spouse. Sometimes we must change our relationship to allow for the co-existence of different values, says Richard Bolstad. Make the decision to love your spouse and be with them anew each day and accept them for who they are. In turn, they will do the same for you.

5. 

   Resolving conflict is a skill that can be developed with time, patience and love.

   Resolve conflict in your relationship quickly. Discuss possible win-win solutions with your spouse that enable you both to feel as though your needs are being valued and met. Avoid a situation where one person makes compromises. A compromise is a win-lose or a lose-lose situation where one person inevitably is unsatisfied. Discuss underlying needs and values behind problems and allow each other the chance to brainstorm alternative solutions so that you are both satisfied.

References

• Gary Chapman; "The Five Love Langauges"; 2004
• Richard Bolstad; "Transforming Communications"; 2003
• Divorce Statistics