How to Explain Cremation to Children
Explaining death to children is a difficult process, especially if you choose to leave out religious explanations of death and the idea of an afterlife. This can be further complicated if you need to explain cremation to children. How you explain death issues is just as important as what you say. You need to keep a calm tone of voice that is matter-of-fact. Showing extreme emotion without any explanation can leave the child feeling confused and scared, not to mention he can form his own opinions that can lead to misinformation.
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Instructions
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Explain the process of cremation. Avoid using the words "burn" and "fire," as these can later be associated with the idea that the deceased did something wrong to be cremated. (See References.) Instead explain that they body, in its coffin, is taken to a place called a crematorium that takes it through a process, breaking the body down into small particles. Tell your child what the particles look like such as white or grey powder.
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Tell the child the body feels no pain. This may be the first concern the child has about the body transforming into ashes or a powder. Explain that the deceased body does not feel pain at any time during the process.
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Explain the purpose of the urn. If the remains are to be displayed in your home, you especially need to tell the child what is in the urn and why your family chose to remember the deceased in this way. It is up to you whether or not you allow the child to look inside the urn to see the remains.
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Explain that cremation has been used for thousands of years by ancient Greeks and other cultures. The factual aspect of a history lesson can give the child something else to focus on rather than any fears she harbors about cremation and death. The idea that it is a normal, time-honored tradition can take away discomfort that comes from hearing about cremation for the first time.
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References
Resources
- Photo Credit cremation urn image by GiGiZ from Fotolia.com
