How to Worry Effectively During Pregnancy

In addition to the joys of pregnancy, both parents might have worries they are afraid to voice.

According to certified nurse midwife and author of "Birthing From Within" Pam England, worry is the work of pregnancy. Most pregnant women struggle with worries ranging from fetal death to a change in birth plans. As much as it might be a comfort to be told not to worry, worry is actually a process of the mind confronting scenarios before they happen to be better prepared. Effective worrying allows expecting parents to address fears ranging from trivial to serious while providing psychological comfort resulting from addressing fears and having a plan in place should they occur.

Instructions

1. Write down a list of all your worries related to the pregnancy. Pay close attention to any worries that enhance physical tension or arouse an emotional response.

2. Explore each worry with your partner, midwife or OBGYN. Discuss what you would need to know should this situation occur.

3. Consider how you have faced any crisis in the past, and ask yourself what you might be able to do to prevent or prepare for this circumstance should it occur. If there are steps you can take to prevent or prepare for this, consider what is preventing you, if anything, from doing this. If you cannot prevent it, ask yourself how you would handle such an occurrence and how you could prepare yourself in case it does happen.

4. Talk to your partner about how the manifestation would make you feel as a parent. Try to think of some alternative narratives should your fear occur that might be less worrisome.

5. Visualize alternative routes and possibilities that help shift the emotionally charged worry to a variety of effective coping responses that allow empowerment.

Tips & Warnings

• Exploring worries and fears will not make them more likely to happen. The ability to worry effectively can help parents manifest more effective coping strategies that might lead to a more satisfying and joyful pregnancy and birth. Dealing with worries out in the open might reduce fearful dreams and chronic tension, which is healthier for the pregnancy overall.

• There are many scenarios that can occur during pregnancy and birth that no amount of preparation can ease. Losing a pregnancy to neonatal death, stillbirth or miscarriage likely will require substantial support and time to heal from such a heavy loss. There are online support groups as well as community support groups for bereaved parents as well as therapists and counselors who are proficient in trauma and bereavement.

References

• "Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year"; Susan Weed; 2004
• "Holistic Midwifery"; Anne Frye; 2001
• "The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby"; William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N.; 2001
• "Counseling and Psychology Theories in Context and Practice"; Sommers-Flannagen and Sommers-Flannagen; 2009
• "Birthing From Within"; Pam England CNM; 2004