How to Overcome Teen Shyness & Make Friends

Shy teenagers can make friends in high school clubs.

Participate in a group at high school or at a community center to overcome teen shyness and make friends. Joining a club, team or activity may be hard at first. But getting out of your comfort zone is the first step to overcoming teen shyness. As time goes on, participating in these activities becomes easier. Seeing the same group of teens on a daily or weekly basis encourages friendships among the participants.

Instructions

1. Work with a parent, mentor or therapist to build confidence and socialization skills. Role-playing anxiety-producing situations can help you find ways to cope with shyness. Practice how to approach other teens and join conversations. Recap your day, noting your emotions during different experiences, to understand what triggers your shyness.

2. Sign up for an after-school club or activity where you'll meet other people with similar interests and backgrounds, such as the school newspaper or cultural clubs. Take band or orchestra as an elective, or join the school band. Try out for a school sports team. Participating in these classes and activities means meeting the same kids every day and getting to know them.

3. Smile when you enter a classroom or club meeting. This does not have to be a huge grin. A closed-mouth smile as you make eye contact with someone will show you are approachable. Show genuine interest in what a teammate or classmate is saying. Ask questions about the topic of conversation. As you converse with other teens, ask questions without grilling them. Then listen intently to their answers and remember the answers for the future. People like to feel important. Taking an interest in someone in this way can lead to friendship.

Tips & Warnings

• The first meeting of the activity or sport is the hardest. Subsequent meetings get easier. Continual attendance in these activities will help you to make friends.

• Avoid thinking negatively about yourself.

• Don't let texting and computer conversations substitute for real interactions with other people.

References

• "The Shy Child: Helping Children Triumph over Shyness," Ward Shallow; 2000.
• American Psychological Association: Painful Shyness
• Ecclesia: How to Win Friends and Influence People - Excerpts from Dale Carnegie's Inspiring Book