How to Write an Obituary or Eulogy

Many families ask for donations to charities in lieu of flowers.

An obituary is a newspaper notice announcing the passing of an individual and funeral arrangements. This notice, long or short, may be the only published recognition a person receives. An obituary can thank people who helped the deceased and the family; present a genealogical record or life story; and request memorial donations. A eulogy is written to be read at the funeral; it recounts family events and accomplishments. A long obituary may include a eulogy to be read by those who cannot attend a service.

Things You'll Need

• Date and place of birth and death of decedent
• Names of family members, relationships, significant others
• Specifics about career, military service, honors, awards
• Places the decendent lived
• Date and time of viewing and service
• Names and addresses of memorial donation recipients
• Photograph (optional)
• Cause of death (optional)

Instructions

1. Begin with the full name and place of birth and death. Do not include a street address; you may specify the name of the hospital or nursing home in which the person died, or simply note the city and state.

2. Accolades such as "beloved husband," "avid art collector" or "loving mother" can be made in the obituary if appropriate. Funeral home and newspaper guidelines are not cast in stone. Share what you wish to share in a dignified, loving manner.

3. Include the deceased's profession and length of employment with a company, if appropriate, or in that field. Other occupations can be noted. Examples: "Mary Jones was a high school math teacher for 40 years"; "Mary Jones was employed by the Saratoga School System as a math teacher for 40 years before her retirement." If Mary Jones met her husband at work, you can mention that.

4. Mention community involvement in the PTA, Rotary Club, Girl Scouts or other civic organizations. Note periods of service, if exceptional.

5. Add areas or interest, hobbies, memberships in clubs, exhibitions of creative works and other recognition the deceased may have received.

6. Include the decedent's military service record: dates, branch of service, decorations.

7. Name the spouse or significant other near the beginning of the obituary or place it farther down, according to your design. You can include a wife's maiden name and status as "widow of Jack Smith," if this applies. You may include the place of marriage or note that the couple immigrated from another country.

8. Name parents, children, grandchildren, stepchildren, brothers and sisters, cousins and in-laws by location. State the geographically closest first in each category of relationship, after parents. You may want to include the names of deceased family members, if relevant.

9. Finish the obituary with the time and place of the memorial service, viewing, graveside service or other event such as a "family only" gathering. Provide names and addresses of charities you recommend for donations and offerings of thanks to individuals who helped the deceased or the family.

Tips & Warnings

• You do not have to state the cause of death.

• Be accurate and complete.

• Bear in mind that funeral homes allow a limited number of words in an obituary as part of the standard fee; you must pay extra for longer articles.

References

• Obituaryguide.com: How to Write an Obituary---Tips and Ideas
• ElegantMemorials.com: How to Write an Obituary
• Lipper Funeral Home: Step by Step Obituary Writing Guide for Our Local Newspaper
• DenverPost.com: How to Write an Obituary