How to Find Friends & Influence People
In 1937, Dale Carnegie published "How to Win Friends and Influence People." This book sold millions of copies and became well-known in many countries. It is one of the earliest examples of the self-help genre. The ideas in this book could even be seen as a precursor to modern thinking on emotional intelligence and people skills. Though businesspeople in particular can benefit from relating to new people and getting on well with colleagues, these skills are readily transferable to other areas of life. The important point made by Dale Carnegie is these skills can be learned and improved.
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Instructions
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Show interest in a new person, asking questions on first meeting her. Listen to what she is saying. Show warmth to the other person, and be receptive to her ideas. Don't fake it; the point is to be genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. Use the other person's name. Genuine interest is shown by having an open body posture, and establishing appropriate eye contact. Most people respond well if you listen to them.
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Admit mistakes readily. Criticize yourself before offering criticism to the other person. If you do have to point out a person's mistakes, do so in as constructive a way as possible. Also do so in a way that makes the other person feel they are easy to rectify. Be quick to point out any improvement made by the other person. Be slow to argue or undermine another person's viewpoint.
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Allow the other person to walk away with his dignity intact. Aim to resolve conflict in a win-win way, rather than aiming for victory. This will ultimately be a more successful strategy. In a work situation, aim to make the other person happy to do what you suggest. Ask questions and talk in a collaborative way to a subordinate at work, rather than issuing orders. Much of this way of behaving could be summed up as treating other people in the way you would wish to be treated.
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References
- Photo Credit friendship image by Andrey Kiselev from Fotolia.com
